Being dumped can leave one feeling lower than toilet paper, but you know what? That feeling ALWAYS eventually goes away. It might leave you with a dull ache or even wondering what you ever saw in the person, but it does go away. All you need is patience, positive reinforcement from family and close friends, an active life and who knows, you might even come to meet someone you will cherish even more.
There is also the real possibility of a reconciliation after the break up. You never know what you have until you lose it remember? But when a suicide is involved as in this case, the other party is forced to move on. Some might carry you on their conscience. Most probably wont.
My heart goes out to her family.
- Lena Begum wandered around the M65 for up to two hours before van hit
- The dental student, from Burnley, had been out earlier with friends
- She told them she was sad her boyfriend, Quzlam Ahmed, didn’t love her
- They dropped her near the M65 as she said she was off to visit a friend
- A motorist saw her walking down the slip road talking into her phone
- Lena walked in front of a van driven by deliveryman John Trainer, 48
- Coroner Mark Williams recorded a verdict of suicide
A teenage girl who was dumped by her ‘controlling’ boyfriend committed suicide by deliberately stepping into the path of traffic on a dark motorway, an inquest heard.
Lena Begum, 18, had been wandering around the three lane carriageway for up to two hours during which she recorded a 3am voicemail message for Quzlam Ahmed saying: ‘You will probably love me one day the way I loved you, but it will be too late.’
Minutes later the dental student was killed after walking in front of a van travelling at almost 60mph along the inside lane of the M65 near her home in Burnley, Lancashire.
The inquest heard that the driver, John Trainer, was unable to spot Lena until it was too late because the street lights on the motorway had been switched off by highway chiefs to cut costs.
Lena, who studied at Blackburn College, had met Mr Ahmed, known as ‘Kammy’, in October 2012, but he had been ‘controlling’ and treating her ‘poorly’, it emerged at the hearing.
Her parents – from a traditional Bengali family – became concerned about the relationship and had reported Lena missing several times from the family home in Reedley.
After Mr Ahmed hit her on her 18th birthday and told her he had no longer wanted a relationship, Lena threatened to self-harm, claiming she was ‘not afraid of dying’ and that ‘death held no fear for her’.
Lena’s friend, Taslena Alam, told the Burnley hearing how the teenager was ‘mentally obsessed’ and ‘crazy’ about Ahmed, and had even etched the name ‘Kammy’ into her arm.
She said Lena would ‘drop everything’ to meet Mr Ahmed whenever he called, and as the relationship developed she went from being ‘happy and fun’ to ‘depressed’.
In a statement, she said Lena had told her she would ‘go onto a motorway and get herself run over.’
Miss Alam said: ‘I kept telling her to stop seeing him but she didn’t listen.’
On the night of the tragedy on April 10 last year, Miss Alam said she and Lena had been at the home of a friend Marcia Khan before heading to a shisha bar, where guests smoke flavoured tobacco in pipes.
Afterwards Lena asked to be dropped off on a road near the motorway. Miss Alam said: ‘All I remember is her going up some stairs, she seemed happy. She wasn’t saying about hurting herself, she never said anything.’
Miss Khan said during the evening Lena had confided in her about her romance with Ahmed. She said: ‘Lena was saying how he didn’t love her and she just wanted him to love her, that she does everything for him and he doesn’t do anything.
‘She was being quiet – before that conversation she was happy and bubbly. I’d heard a few things that she had tried doing things in the past but didn’t believe that she had the ability.’
She said at the end of the evening, Lena had, ‘walked up the stairs, turned around and smiled’. She added: ‘I smiled back.That was the last time I saw her.
‘She said she wanted to see her friend, and made it sound so realistic.’
But half an hour later Lena was spotted walking down the motorway slip road and into oncoming traffic, recording messages to loved ones as she held her mobile phone.
Deliveryman John Trainer said he could not see Lena until it was too late because the road lights were off
Driver Michelle Harris, who was coming off the motorway, said: ‘She was not dawdling, not staggering and appeared to be doing something with her mobile phone, holding it up with both hands at chest level.
‘I thought she was texting. I slowed and came to a stop and looked in my mirror and couldn’t see her. I thought she could have broken down.’
The inquest heard that deliveryman John Trainer, 48, was driving his Mercedes Sprinter van in the inside lane of the motorway at 3.50am when Lena walked in front of him.
His statement read: ‘There was no lighting, the area was pitch black. For a split second I caught a glimpse of a person who was walking across from lane two, almost at the line divider.
‘I pressed the brakes as hard as I could, I swerved to avoid. She didn’t even look towards me, she just continued to walk across. I couldn’t avoid the collision.
‘I don’t believe I could have done anything to avoid her, I do believe if there were motorway lights I would have seen her sooner and slowed down a lot sooner.’
Lena was pronounced dead at the scene despite attempts to save her. Records showed she had spoken to Ahmed twice on the phone for around 30 minutes.
At 2.05 am she posted a picture to Facebook and Twitter, and earlier in the evening posted messages on social networking sites.
Twitter feed: Lena left messages for her friends and family on social media before she stepped in front of a van
One read: ‘I just wana say a big thank you ta all my true mates that have been there for me & my family, love ya loads.’
The other said: ‘Only thing that I would want from ya is ta remember me please more than anything else.’
Mr Ahmed, who did not attend the inquest, said in a statement he had last seen Lena four days before her death and had changed his number because she was ‘pestering’ him.
He confirmed he had spoken to her at around 2am on 10 April and she had told him she ‘didn’t want to live any more’, saying if he ‘didn’t want to be with her, she didn’t want to be here’.
‘I pressed the brakes as hard as I could, I swerved to avoid. She didn’t even look towards me, she just continued to walk across.’
Deliveryman John Trainer, 48
Telephone logs revealed Lena’s mother Selina Begum had tried calling her daughter 16 times between midnight and the time of her death, and police later found Lena had recorded messages on her phone.
One said: ‘When I’m out of this s***** world and up there, that’s when you will realise.’
PC Richard Roberts said of the crash scene: ‘Street lighting was inoperative and turned off in 2011 as part of a cost saving scheme. It was very dark.’
Recording a verdict of suicide, assistant coroner Mark Williams said: ‘Lena had formed a relationship but it did not appear to be any good for her or her well-being.
‘In the last few weeks of that relationship he was calling it off and she didn’t want that. She was obsessed by him, crazy for him, she scratched his name into her arm.
‘The impression I get is that he treated her very poorly.’
He added: ‘There was nothing Mr Trainer could do after Lena suddenly appeared in the headlights.
‘She has done a deliberate act of walking in front of the van and he was unable to do anything to avoid a collision.’
After the inquest, Lena’s mother Selina Begum said: ‘She was a lovely girl, everyone loved her. She was my only girl, she had two younger brothers who she looked after.
‘As a mother this has been really traumatic. My life is over, only when I’m dead will this be gone. She was a bright girl studying dentistry, hoping to become a dental nurse.
‘She had wanted to do chemistry. Her death hurts so much.’
Culled from dailymail.co.uk